Why is it important to watch the company you keep?
Everyone has someone in their life that is just exhausting to be around. Whether they are people we work with, people we are in relationships with, or even our closest friends. These people are often unhappy negative people that wreak havoc on your spiritual and mental well-being.
What do these energy drainers look like?
These energy drainers tend to have the following characteristics…
- The person that shows up to your house without even calling.
- Habitual line crosser’s.
- Showing poor boundaries.
- Relentlessly demanding and persistent, being unable to take no for an answer.
- Overly dramatic.
- People that thrive on drama, seek attention because they have learned to feel invisible.
- They worships you one minute and despises you the next, based on overreactions to minor events.
- This is the coworker that locks themselves in the bathroom, or the friend who derails lunch and has a two hour conversation about a fight that had with their significant other.
- Overly critical/Negative
- Finding fault with everything you do and everyone in their lives.
- Rarely finding anything to their liking or meeting their satisfaction.
- Argumentative, having trouble agreeing with others, even on things that seem insignificant or inconsequential.
- Blaming everyone but themselves for their actions and problems.
- If something bad happens it is everyone and everything’s fault. They do not take responsibility for their actions.
How will these energy drainers try to drain you of your energy?
These people will take more energy from you than they give back. Sometimes, when we are sick, emotionally overloaded or out of balance, we cannot give any energy. Feeling tired, stressed, angry and tense. Sometimes, right after an encounter you may want to take a nap; other times it may cause you to be agitated and unable to sleep, you may find yourself with foggy thinking, a bad mood or an attitude. You may have started out feeling great and suddenly became sad, melancholy or angry.
How do you prevent these energy drainers from effecting you?
- Identify what type of energy drainer they are (Critical/Negative, Blamer, Drama Queen, and Pushy).
- Once you’ve identified such people, limit the amount of time you spend with them. If you can’t detach completely, as in the case of family members or coworkers, set firm limits. For example, for those who are intrusive or overly dramatic and consume your time with theatrics or sob stories, start off conversations with something like, “I only have a few minutes before I have to [fill in the blank]…” Once that time is up, politely disengage.
- Don’t get pulled in. No matter how much you might like to think or hope you will be able to fix their problems, you won’t. Energy drainers will either resist your interventions or create new crises in their lives for you to “fix.” Conversations with drainers are not about you providing a solution; it’s about telling them what they want to hear and/or letting them listen to their own voice.
- Resist offering solution say something like, “I’m confident that you’ll be able to find the right answer on your own,”—you can be firm in a kind and respectful way.
- It is easy to get sucked in because we all like to feel needed. However, being sucked it is not helping. You are not responsible for the behavior of other adults.