How do you know that it is time to commit to a new relationship? Well, we have to first define commitment in a relationship. When you commit yourself to one person, you are committing your well-being, future, hopes, dreams, and happiness. Is this person worth the investment? Compare your relationship to a job? What is commitment at work? Would you quit your job if you worked for a company that treated you like your partner? Do you trust yourself in your current relationship? I was asked this question on the air this Sunday and it made me think. When an individual trusts themselves they can then love and commit to others. Meaning, they trust themselves enough not to search for new love via Facebook, twitter, at work, in the grocery store, etc. We learn as children at a very early age how to trust or how not to trust others. The inability to trust oneself can also come from not knowing who you truly are. And even when we do know ourselves, we still sometimes make the wrong choices because we let fear, external pressure or bad past relationships get in the way. What is definition of commitment?
Relationship commitment means that you are honoring exclusivity, love, trust, honesty, openness, and support of each other needs and desires.
Here is what I believe represents commitment in a new relationship…
1.) They keep their word.
2.) They do not ignore problems, and let negative emotions fester.
3.) They are not secretive.
4.) They show a genuine interest in their partner.
5.) They are willing to spend time with you.
6.) They are not afraid to put your interest before their own.
My husband came up with the following list…
1.) You miss their smile.
2.) You crave to hear their voice.
3.) The prospect of others does not appeal to you.
4.) You can’t wait to see them at the end of the day.
5.) You value spending quality time with that person.
6.) The relationship is easy not hard. You are not swimming upstream.
Why is commitment so important? In a healthy committed relationship you have a partner. You have someone to ride the wave called life with. I do believe that it may not be for everyone. However, if you are a relationship person, a healthy relationship can help you in the success of achieving your goals.
I have to say that I love all of my husband’s points. They bring out the essence of infatuation, passion, and new love. However, what do you do when all of this wears off? Over time it will, if about six months have passed, now you must learn how to manage your differences and independence. Now you have to focus on working through disagreements, differences of opinions, approaches to sex, communication and trust. For some people the fear of their partner wanting to socialize without them, triggers insecurities. Remember to set the appropriate boundaries so that you never lose who you are, but both can grow and become stronger as a couple. What commitment means to me can be found on both of our lists. I think you need a little of both to have a balanced relationship. I am in no means satisfied with my list and will continue to tweak it. I value my husband’s opinion as our personalities differ but balance each other out. I look forward to hearing what you think. You can download the “How do you know it is time to commit yourself to a new relationship tool” here…