I have a friend that has recently started dating again. We sat on the phone for hours trying to pin point what signs are red flags and potential deal breakers. One thing I can say for sure as women get older, they become more and more cautious. Who can blame them? I coach countless women whom have been in abusive relationships. They have been abandoned, cheated on, physically and emotionally abused, lied to, etc. I am not trying to bash men. Ladies do not lose hope. There are plenty of great men, looking for great women. The secret is in your attitude and belief system. First, let go of the negativity from your past. Second, speak positive love, happiness, and companionship into your life. If you constantly say negative things like “I know he one nights them”, “ I bet you he is real clingy” , “seems insecure to me”, or “I bet he can’t lay it down right”. Ladies stop! Take a chance, observe this guy, listen to what he has to say, and follow your intuitions. Remember, there is someone for everyone. Now here are the warning sings to look out for…
- Men have sex on their minds and sometimes they can’t fight the flesh. This is normal. However, if all he seems to want to do from date one is get you in the bed, watch out. When “let’s do it” comes before “what’s your name?” This is a sign that he is after one thing.’
- If your man is lazy in bed, he may be the type who expects everyone else, especially you, to pick up his slack in other areas of his life.
- If your guy does not make you feel special, it’s not worth your time. I know women that jump into relationship with guys like this and expect things to change. Girl, if he was this way when you met him that is who he is.
- If his idea of a date is a booty call that is all you will ever be. Calling you after 12 is an indicator that his intentions are only sexual.
- If he can’t stop talking about another women run. He is emotionally unavailable. His mind is elsewhere and he is not focused on making you feel special.
- If this guy is always secretly texting, taking phone calls in another room, or grabbing the phone to ensure that you don’t see the caller id, he is hiding something.
- If he becomes excessively aggressive when the two of you have an argument, he isn’t fighting fair — possibly the most detrimental trait of a bad communicator. Get out while you can. You should never put up with your boyfriend attacking you on a personal level, which includes telling you “you’re just like my ex,” and, our favorite, calling you “crazy.”
- Relationships work best when two people have their own, independent lives apart from the one they share. If a guy needs to be around you 24/7 and seeks guidance from you continuously, he has attachment issues. You shouldn’t be anyone’s security blanket.
- If this guy is not around, when times are rough, he will never be there when you need him. Part of the perk of having a long-term beau is that you don’t have to go through life’s ups and downs alone. If he takes off when the going gets tough, you’re better off going at it alone.
- If he doesn’t share anything personal with you, you will never be able to socially connect. If you’ve been dating your man for months, but you still haven’t heard one mention of his childhood or career aspirations, something’s not right.
Contact me at http://www.myerslifecoaching.com for your free coaching session on dating!