Sexual Chemistry vs. Spending Time Together

sexual chemistry

I posted this question on Facebook the other day and received some great feedback.  So what is more important? Is it sexual chemistry or spending time together?  I have been researching this topic and have attempted to define sexual chemistry.  I have concluded that sexual chemistry is a feeling of “we click, we know each other’s bodies, we intuitively know which buttons to press, and we are undeniably drawn to one another”.  You must have sexual passion in your relationship.

Now, I have been married for four years and know that it takes work to keep that passionate flame lit.  Therefore, spending quality time with your partner is essential.  While spending that time together, you undeniable create opportunity to bond.  Let me clarify, quality time does not necessarily mean watching TV. When you make the effort to be together, without kids, pets, social media surfing, and other interruptions, you will build a intimacy that will get through life’s rough spots.

The Psychologist in me wants to share some knowledge.  One of my favorite theorist, Robert Stenrberg (2007) found that the three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are intimacy, passion, and a decision/commitment component.  Therefore, sexual chemistry/passion is a component of love. Now, If you have been in a relationship that consists only of sexual chemistry it will not last without intimacy and commitment. Think about! If you you want to spice things up, download my steamy sex life coaching tool


Sternberg, Robert J. (2007). “Triangulating Love”. In Oord, T. J. The Altruism Reader: Selections from Writings on Love, Religion, and Science. West Conshohocken, PA: Templeton Foundation.