Negative Voice #1 : I DON’T DESERVE TO BE LOVED!
This voice creeps into our hearts after experiencing trauma and or heartache. For example, I don’t deserve to be loved because I messed up my previous relationship. I don’t deserve to be loved because my parents abandoned me. I don’t deserve to be loved because no one has loved me before. I don’t deserved to be loved……
This thought pattern gets so many people in trouble. This dialogue hurts our self-esteem. It results in us not trying, giving up and/or settling for less. Ultimately, this voice can lead to someone not taking care of themselves. It can lead to someone abusing substances or feeding negative addictions. These thought pattern leads to missed opportunities.
Has anyone ever met a love interest that was like someone they have never met before? Maybe you have a friend that lets the good ones go for the bad apples. Just think about that love interest that is attentive, gentle and really cares. Have you or your friend seem completely confused and unsure. Are you or that person experiencing difficulty understanding why you are resisting the relationship so fiercely?
So what is happening here? Often we get so caught up in what we are feeling that we never truly look inside and see why loving this person is so hard. Fear creeps in and gets you stuck in those bad relationship cycles. Now, I will give you a thought and affirmation to redirect this negative voice.
EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD IS WORTHY OF LOVE AND THAT INCLUDES ME.
There is an abundance of love out there. You deserve love. The first rule to receiving abundant love is to love thyself. Self-love is in YOUR CONTROL. The more love you show yourself, the more love that signals to others to give you. Pamper yourself, tell yourself everyday how great and worthy you are, get your rest, eat right etc. Love is a choice that you can make every day. If you can love yourself deeply and truly, you will generate plenty of love for yourself and the world around you.
Voice # 2: I REGRET IT.
Holding on to regret is an easy place to get stuck in. For example: I regret the day I met him. I regret not finishing school. I regret not spending enough time with this person, etc.
Holding on to regret and replaying and replaying that negative thought will almost certainly keep you stuck. The danger here is getting stuck in regret and giving away our power to pursue what we are longing for. Regret is not a stamp that we must wear on hour forehead. It is just a feeling. Feelings change and evolve. Now I will give you a thought and affirmation to redirect this negative voice.
I CHOOSE TO TRUST IN THE PROCESS OF LIFE BY NOT LIVING IN REGRET.
This feeling of regret allows us to discover our desires, needs or truth. Once we tap into these feelings we can then transform that negative feeling into action. If you regret not finishing school. This signals that you have a deep seated desire to further your education. It is time to transform that negative thought into a new reality. Life is short. Don’t let that negative tune cycle around and around. Stay true to yourself.
Voice # 3: I’M NOT READY!
This goes out to all of my perfectionists out there. Who out there is every truly ready? Don’t let this thought lead to you missing out on a relationships that could possible fill all of your life’s desires. Opportunities often come at the most inconvenient times. Just think about the times you have been called to teach or explain something that you have not mastered. Or even think about the time when we are faced with a decision before we’ve completed all of the necessary research. Rather than waiting until you are 100 percent ready, take that 30 percent as a sign that you have a something to start with. This means that at least some of you is ready than not. It is the journey- the learning, the road that has everything to offer. The experience of getting out there is what builds our character and expertise. Now, I will give you a thought and affirmation to redirect this negative voice.
I AM ALREADY ENOUGH!
As humans we associate happiness with achievement. We are always in some form being told what we need to do or be. The reality is you are enough and have everything you need to accomplish your relationship goals. It is time to get out of your head and jump. It is not about fitting in with a predetermined ideal, but rather the degree to which you settle into the totality of who you are-beautiful, conquering lovely you. The you in this moment, right here, right now is more than enough. This is the true pursuit of love and happiness.
So let us begin! Who are you? I want you to dig deep. The core of what makes any relationship work is you. Let’s think about self-esteem. The term self-esteem comes from the Latin verb aestimare, meaning to value. How do you estimate your worth? The “self” part is self-explanatory, referring to you, yourself. So think of self-esteem as how you value/estimate yourself.
Self-Awareness Hint! Do you compare yourself to the PTA mom that runs the local elementary school? Do you compare yourself to a parent or child hood figure? Do you compare yourself to that person in the Victoria Secret Catalogue or GQ magazine? Yes, we all have measured ourselves up to others. However, where you get in trouble is trying to please others based upon this ideal. It is humanely impossible to please people. There is always something that will not meet someone’s standards. It is perfect love for yourself that allows you to reach new heights. Learn new self strategies today with www.myerslifecoachingllc.com