They are taking me for granted… I don’t trust them!

Are you being taken for granted? What is trust?

We constantly here in session the following…

“They just don’t appreciate me”.

“You do not see the things I do around here”.

“I’m not your mama”.

“I’m second to everything”.

“You have time for everything else but me”.

“She/He obviously has something I do not have”.

If you feel like you are not a priority then this article is for you. Don’t take your partner for granted.  It is very common for people to fall in a power struggle that tips the balance of the relationship off. Has your relationship turned into a power struggle. Giving into your needs fosters resentment, competition, and retaliation. Are you angry because it seems like they are treating you like a second-class citizen. You are perfectly made. You are more than enough, Take responsibility for your part of the problem: Don’t let them treat you that way.

If your partner never asks your input, it could be that they don’t think your input is of value or that they can handle it on their own and do not want to disappoint you. They may be taking your education, instincts, and how well you know them for granted. Instead of being the kind of partner you make decisions with, you’re the partner who will just go with the flow — or at least that’s how your partner feels. Let your partner know that you’re a part of the decision making process, too, and that you’re not just an accessory. You are more than a trophy or show piece.

Does your partner pick their friends over you, make decisions they know will upset you, do things you’ve agreed they wouldn’t do, or just act like a %$#@?  This is a problem. Your happiness and your feelings are not something your partner should ever take for granted, especially not on a regular basis. This is behavior that screams “unhealthy relationship” and if you feel in your gut that you deserve better, you probably do. Take our quiz to see if you are in an unhealthy relationship (http://quizareyousettling.gr8.com).

NEVER BLAME your partner if you get frustrated or caught doing something you should not have done! When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be CHANGED. Blame is a defense. You were attracted to this person because they are best suited to trigger all of your insecurities  in the most painful way so that you could heal them.

Trust is necessary for a relationship to grow. Trust is necessary for you to feel equality and balance. Having trust in a relationship, means that you can be vulnerable with your partner. Vulnerability allows love to grow.  What does trust mean?

• Trust means that you don’t have to feel some type of way, when your partner picks up your phone
• Trust means that you do not have to worry about you partner flirting with others when you go out in public.
• Trust means that you do not have to feel embarrassed, ashamed, or condemned when you share your feelings.
• Trust means that you know in your heart that they are there because they care about who you are.
• Trust means that you can trust that they will not take advantage of you financially.
• Trust means that you can trust that person to be responsible with family, friends, and children.

I can go on and on. Ultimately, a trusting relationship is one in which partners are allies, not foes. Long-lasting couples manage to keep this vulnerability alive. Each person’s awareness of the importance of partnership underlies his or her attentiveness to the other. This type of love focuses on the partnership and the ability to put the other first.

Such trust comes easily at a relationship’s beginning. Lust, attraction and novelty keep us glued to each other when we fall in love. It’s in the next phase, when routines and irritations set in, that a couple is tested. Deep connectedness — is a choice. Feeling your partner’s triumphs and setbacks as your own — is a hallmark of the early stages of love. We are careful with our words and behavior and take care not to wound the other. We all need someone we can rely on in order to maintain a sense of wellbeing. Having this security in a relationship allows a couple to grow together not apart.

You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got together. He/she DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of their heart, they may give that heart to someone else. Always fight to win their love just as you did when you were courting them…  #LOVE

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