The Alpha Male…
A woman needs to feel attraction for a guy beyond friendship. Women are attracted to confidence, masculinity, the alpha male. If you are nervous, anxious or hesitant around a woman, she will sense this fear and it will turn her off. The men who were successful in passing along their genes were the ones who embraced risk and succeeded in their quests. Women that love these traits are team alpha male.
Men who failed the challenge, or who were too risk averse to attempt it, ended their genetic lines with their own deaths. Women select long-term mates according to a long list of alpha male characteristics. Those include alpha male traits like social dominance, physical prowess, and symmetry.
The Omega Male…
In the current era, the omega male is at the very top of the dominance hierarchy. This omega male can have great pride without it manifesting as “ego.” The most alpha of all alpha descendants, are highly problematic as husbands and fathers, as reflected in rates of marriage, infidelity, fatherhood and divorce. Proceed with extreme caution. Be aware of why you are attracted to those alpha male personality traits.
The Beta Male…
Now less address those beta male personality traits. Beta traits, including ability to provide, kindness, honesty, demonstration of love and affection, intelligence, compatibility, dependability and industriousness. These traits are necessary, but must be balances with alpha male prowess.
Theorist argue that beta males usually lack an alpha male mentor. This caused boys growing into men to believe that a women’s definition of a man is right. I have also heard that it goes back to caveman times. Have you ever seen Dawn of the Croods? The father did not take risks, he kept the family safe by avoiding risks and staying in the cave. Cavemen lived in small communities, populated by very few people. Any cavemen that stood out or acted as the alpha male became an outcast.
Beta males typically lack assertiveness skills. They get taken advantage of and often become very passive aggressive or resentful. Beta males do not like to say no. They often feel guilty for saying no. It pains me that society is not teaching assertiveness skills. Our thinking is faulty. It is all or nothing. What about that grey area. The grey area is what sets you apart and allows you to see the bigger picture. Alphas don’t like omegas as they can’t pull the sheep over their eyes. Betas males don’t like omegas as they have difficulties keeping up. And omega males are generally indifferent. I recommend the following book, it describes the beta attitude and helps passive guys start to develop assertiveness skills) When I Say No I Feel Guilty.
If the beta risks turn into mental illness, it looks a lot like boderline personality disorder. If alpha traits turn into mental illness, it looks a lot like narcissistic personality disorder. If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulty regulating their mood, social or occupational functioning, have suicidal thoughts or has even been stalking someone, please seek professional mental health help.
If you would like coaching on this topic, please do not hesitate to reach out! (www.myerslifecoachingllc.com or 228-263-4723). I have created this chart as a reference point. This is not an exact science, however this chart is useful for both women and men. If you or someone close to exhibits beta male or alpha male risks, reconsider your behavior. Ultimately, to become an omega you have to be able to move out of Alpha mode at the most critical of times. For example if there is a major loss, infidelity, financial difficulty, breakup or even career change, men, be aware of how you treat those that are closest to you. Be the best version of yourself. Tomorrow is not promised!
|Alpha Male Personality Traits||Alpha Risk||Beta Male Personality Traits||Beta Risk|
|Dominant, confident, takes charge||Doesn’t develop strong leaders; intimidating; creates fear; stifles disagreement
|Kindness, Caring, Concerned about feelings.||Betas are always seeking external approval so they shy away from doing anything that could be considered rude.|
|Charismatic, magnetic leader who leads the way||
Manipulates to get his way, uses charm to lure people down his path
|Non-confrontational, resentful, Avoidant, Sarcastic,||They will never tell you how they really feel. They can be very passive aggressive. They may ignore you, sabotage your plans or give off some real attitude.|
Competes with peers; alienates colleagues; reluctant to give others credit
|Sensitive, Emotional||Beta males believe it is them against the world. When things do not go right they get very upset to the point that they might even cry.|
|High achiever with a strong sense of mission||
Takes high levels of performance for granted;expects the impossible and fails to acknowledge what’s required to achieve it
|Always Searching for Perfection||Beta males think they need to be perfect. Betas try to have all the answers, help everyone, look good, have their hair perfect, be the guy that everyone wants them to be.|
|Bold, creative, innovative thinker||
Arrogant, stubborn, overly opinionated; imposes own views; closed to others’ thinking
|Super Conscientious, questions actions regularly, does not like change||Feels Guilty for not doing what others want
|Persistent, tenacious, determined, steadfast||
Drives self and others to exhaustion; urgent; impatient; thinks rules don’t apply to him
|Problem Solvers, Always trying to fix it||Beta males have answers to everything. They never said “I don’t know” or “That is not possible.” They are the ones that say yes, all the time!|
|Strong appetite for newness and change||
Overzealous; undervalues organizational alignment; launches into action before gathering support from others
|Friendly, Safe, Not Risk Takers
|Not seen as sexual. They are the friend of the girl that they want to sleep with. They aren’t aggressive. No one thinks “sexy” or “sexual” when they think of a beta male.
|Sees what’s missing||Can be critical, demeaning; fails to appreciate others’ contributions; people feel demoralized||Keeps thoughts to themselves, represses feelings||The beta does not live the life he wants because he is living the life he believes other people want him to live. Betas want to be loved. They want people to like them.|